What Are Thoughts? Should You Believe Everything Your Mind Says?
One of the most common phrases you’ll hear in therapy is: “Thoughts aren’t facts.”
It sounds simple enough, but what does that really mean and why does it matter so much for your mental health?
The truth is that many of us move through the world assuming our thoughts are meaningful, intentional, or accurate reflections of who we are. But the mind doesn’t actually work that way.
Understanding what thoughts are (and what they are not) can dramatically change how you relate to anxiety, shame, self-criticism, and emotional overwhelm.
Thoughts Are Mental Events — Not Truth Statements
A thought is a momentary mental event. It’s the brain’s way of generating ideas, interpretations, predictions, and observations.
But here’s the important part:
A thought is simply the mind’s attempt to make sense of something — not a confirmation of truth.
Because thoughts are internal, they feel meaningful. If your mind says, “I’m failing,” it can feel like a fact. If your mind says, “They probably don’t like me,” it can feel like evidence. But the thought itself is just a sentence your brain produced in a split second. Thoughts become problems only when we confuse them with facts.
Thoughts Are Often Random and Automatic
Most thoughts aren’t intentional. They show up spontaneously, shaped by:
Past experiences
Nervous system state
Stress or exhaustion
Old beliefs or attachment patterns
Habitual thinking loops
Survival instincts
Your brain is constantly scanning for danger, predicting possibilities, and filling in gaps — often without your awareness.
This means you can have thoughts that are:
Inaccurate
Catastrophic
Self-critical
Based on old wounds
Or just flat-out untrue
None of this means anything is wrong with you. It simply means your brain is doing what human brains do.
Thoughts Don’t Stay — They Pass Like Weather
If you’ve ever noticed your mind jump from worry to distraction to something completely unrelated within seconds, you’ve witnessed the fleeting nature of thought. Thoughts pass on their own when we don’t latch onto them.
When we treat thoughts like facts, we unintentionally hold onto them, analyze them, or fight them — which makes them stronger. But when we allow them to rise and fall naturally, they lose their intensity and move through more quickly.
Your Nervous System Influences the Thoughts You Have
People often think their thoughts create their emotions, but sometimes it works the other way around. A dysregulated or activated nervous system tends to produce:
Catastrophic thoughts…“If my partner is quiet, our relationship must be falling apart.”
Worst-case-scenario predictions…“If I try to set a boundary, it’s going to blow up.”
“All-or-nothing” beliefs…“If today isn’t productive, the whole week is ruined.”
Shame-based self-talk…“I always screw everything up.”
Hypervigilant interpretations…“They didn’t smile when I said hi — they probably don’t like me.”
When your body is in a state of threat, your thoughts follow suit. Understanding this can you help you stop blaming yourself for your anxious or negative thinking, and instead recognize that thoughts are simply reflecting the current state of your nervous system, not the truth about your life or your worth.
If Thoughts Aren’t Facts, What Do We Do With Them?
Maybe a friend texts you at 9:15 AM asking if you’re still coming to the coffee date you completely forgot about. Life got busy, you lost track of time, and now you’re not going to make it.
Almost instantly, a thought pops up: “I’m failing.”
You don’t need to argue with this thought, push it away, or convince yourself it’s untrue. The goal isn’t to control your thoughts — it’s to relate to them differently. Instead of becoming fused with them, you can simply let them exist.
Usually, a thought like “I’m failing” feels like a fact. And when we treat it like a fact, it stops being a fleeting mental event and turns into a definitive statement about who we are.
Instead, try observing the thought without grabbing onto it.
This might sound like:
“I’m having the thought that I’m failing.”
That small shift creates distance. It reduces the emotional charge and gives you back a sense of choice and clarity.
From there, gently return to what is actually happening in the moment — not what your mind is predicting, replaying, or assuming. Here’s the difference:
What’s actually happening right now:
“It’s 9:15. I forgot a commitment. I can text my friend to apologize and reschedule.”
Not what your mind is predicting:
“My friend secretly hates me.” “I ruin everything.”
You Are Not Your Thoughts
This is one of the most liberating parts of the therapeutic process: realizing that thoughts are not identity. They are not directives. They are not prophecies. They are not moral judgments.
Thoughts are mental events moving through a human brain.
Allowing yourself to see your thoughts as fleeting mental events, rather than seeing every thought as meaningful or dangerous, you create the space for clarity, emotional grounding, and choice. You’re then able to begin responding to life based on what’s real, not what your brain is guessing.
If you’re working through anxiety, trauma, or overwhelming self-criticism, learning to relate differently to your thoughts can be a powerful part of healing. Therapy can help you understand these patterns, calm the nervous system, and build new ways of responding that support long-term change.
Are you interested in starting therapy and learning more?
If something in this post resonates with you and you’re interested in starting therapy, I’m here to help. At my practice, I work with adults seeking support with trauma, anxiety, depression, perfectionism, or relational stress. I provide in-person and virtual therapy in Chesterfield, MO, Washington, MO, and surrounding areas, including Franklin County, St. Louis City, St. Louis County, and St. Charles County. You can start by reaching out or scheduling a consultation through my website here.