Perfectionists + Over-Achievers
Do you find yourself constantly seeking to succeed, achieve, and be “perfect” in every way? I get it.
The need to strive and be successful can be something us “perfectionists” and “over-achievers” love, but at the same time it may also feel like we’ve set this impossible standard for ourselves.
It’s almost the ideal game of “win-lose”…because, even though the accomplishments feel great, your brain instantly looks for “what’s next,” making your brain think your latest success wasn’t enough.
It’s really hard being an over-achiever. Not being perfect or achieving your own goals (and those of others) makes it feel like you’re constantly failing…or that you’re never going to quite be good enough. EVEN when you’ve already done SO much.
It can be exhausting, and sometimes the extent of the fatigue leads to burn out…and we don’t even realize that may be what’s happening.
When working with perfectionists and over-achievers, I help them understand what’s hidden below, fueling those tendencies.
Sometimes it’s the fear of failure or not being good enough, other times it can rooted in something we’ve learned (through something like sibling rivalry or wanting to be noticed). Whatever it may be, my clients are going to find their “why.”
Once the why is found, that’s when we can gently challenge it and start learning new perspectives and more healthier, helpful behaviors so that perfectionism and achievement doesn’t run your life.
You may be thinking, “Why would I want that? I like being successful?” Trust me, me too. I’ve been this way, too! Sometimes I still am, but, I’ve also learned that no matter how good achievement feels, as long as my head is in that space, I’m missing out on what’s in the present.
My goal is never to take away the part of you that loves being successful. Rather, it’s to help you build just as much confidence in yourself when you’re not fixated on something new to accomplish, as you are when doing so. I want success and achievement to be YOUR choice, not something that HAS to occur in order for you to be valuable.
I want to give you the choice to choose when enough is enough, when you need a break, or just want to settle into the present for a bit. Together, we will work through whatever is pushing out the need to achieve and find a balance between success and slowness.